The Right Words

“A little girl was late coming home for supper. Her mother made the expected parent’s demand to know where she had been. The little girl replied that she had stopped to help Janie, whose bicycle was broken in a fall. “But you don’t know anything about fixing bicycles,” her mother responded. “I know that,” the girl said. “I just stopped to help her cry.”” (storiesforpreaching.com.au).

Perhaps you, like me, have found yourself in a situation where the right words are difficult to come by, maybe even non-existent. You want to help but the words won't come.  The marriage of some friends suddenly implodes and you had no idea anything was wrong.  The unexpected death of a family member.  A financial reversal that wipes out a lifetime of hard work.

I’m reminded of the story of Job’s friends. They heard of his tremendous losses and made the journey to try to offer some comfort. And they made a good start. “When they lifted up their eyes at a distance and did not recognize him, they raised their voices and wept. And each of them tore his robe and they threw dust over their heads toward the sky. Then they sat down on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights with no one speaking a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great” (Job 2:12–13). But if you go on to read the rest of the story, you realize they should have kept their mouths shut.  Their words of “comfort” were anything but comforting. It would have been better if they had kept their words to themselves.

When you try to help someone through a time of difficulty, please choose your words carefully. Even well-intentioned words can add to the hurt instead of lessening it. If you are struggling for words in a situation, maybe that is a sign that your silent presence may be more appropriate. Remember, sometimes the bike cannot be fixed. Sometimes the best that can be done is to “...weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15).

God loves you!

Mike